Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
