? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
