I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
