It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
