I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
