dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
