You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
