whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When are your genitals available?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
