I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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