I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
