And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im holly from the hills drunk
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
