Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
