So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
