Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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