i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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