i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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