At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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