Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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