Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
