she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
