Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
