I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
