You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
