Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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