Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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