But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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