Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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