i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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