So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
