I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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