I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
