I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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