i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
