how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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