I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
