as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
