he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
