All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
