at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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