I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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