I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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