I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
