Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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