I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
