My first STD was from a foam party
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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