im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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