I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
