Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
zippers are such a cool invention
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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