no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
