As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
