Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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