strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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