you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
